Kaden's...thoughts, fics, icons, and other shit...

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 05:33:46 GMT

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 03:39:44 GMT

I'm making a new livejournal because I HATE this one. The screen name is bassoon_luv and I'll add all my buddies over there. I'm still gonna use this journal to put my fics and shit.

Rock on.

-Kaden

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 07:46:00 GMT

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:25:37 GMT

1.
2.
3.

4.
5.

6.
7.
8.

9.
10.
11.

If you can't read any of them, just ask, and I'll tell you. I even numbered them...because I'm so god damned fucking nice, you little jerks.

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 05:46:43 GMT

dmosfpa_rp
Devin M. Ottesen School For Performing Arts Roleplay

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 05:26:24 GMT

This is my collection of icons I've made for people for rps. Some suck horribly and were only temperary. The others are pretty cool.

The ones with the x's on the left side of them are the ones I don't like...

These are the ones for ME that I made...

staythesame_rp(JOIN IT!)
xx

givensilence_rp(at Greatest Journal)

parks_academy x

dropthesoap_rp

Icons for my friends...

parks_academy

XXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX

Some prank icons: (if you couldn't tell...these were all made in five mintues and are sort of inside jokes)
Random ones for my friends at Parks/for original characters: (I LOVE this one!) x x

dropthesoap_rp x

staythesame_rp XXXXXXXXXXX(but they DIDN'T EVEN JOIN! hhmmmph.)

So...in conclusion...if anyone wants one, just ask, and I will gladly make you one. You don't even have to have a picture already...but it would be greatly appreciated.

-Kaden

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 04:19:21 GMT

Whoever doesn't join is totally uncool...

staythesame_rp

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 04:56:42 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair/GREENDAY(haha...added a new fandom! GO ME!)
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris), Maybe some Mark/Billie Joe
Chapter: SEVEN
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: Everyone who reviews my story. Go YOU!
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

Chapters:1 2 3 4 5 6

AN: Sorry this is so short. I really just wanted to finish writing it and couldn't think of anything else this chapter needed...and I really didn't feel like writing smut with Travis and Chris. Oh, also, sorry if there are any errors with the wording. I didn't have it beta'd or anything.

I added the Green Day fandom, if you hadn't noticed, and I might be adding other ones, too. If anyone has any ideas or anything...feel free to share them with me.
-

Dear Mark,

You know all about my sick, illegal crush, right? Well, guess what! I had some sick, illegal sex! Now, don’t go feeling semi-good for me, because I had illegal sex...with the wrong Australian boy! There is this boy, I don’t remember if I told you about him, his name is Chris, and I’m staying with his family. Well...I hope you get what I’m trying to say. I don’t want to have to say it.

Okay...I’ll say it, anyway. I WAS THE KID’S BITCH!!

Well, I hope life is treating you well.

Love,
Travis.

-

I laugh at the last line of Travis’ e-mail. Life has been treating me anything but well.

I tried calling Tom last night, his mom said he wasn’t there, even though I heard his voice in the background. I called his cell phone, he didn’t pick up. I tried IMing him, he blocked me. I tried e-mailing him, he hasn’t replied, and probably deleted it.

I hear a knock on my door. I don’t know who it could be, because the only person who ever comes to visit me is Tom or Travis, and they’re not going to be here for a while, if they ever do come back.

When I open the door, a guy about my age with dark hair and green eyes stands behind it.

“Hi,” he says.

“Umm...hi?” I say back.

“Umm...I’m Billie Joe...I’m your new neighbor. I just wanted to say...um...hi.” He looks down at the ground.

“Hi. I’m Mark,” I offer him a small smile, though I know he can’t see it since he’s looking away from me.

-

An hour later, Billie Joe and I are both sitting on my couch with a beer in our hands and many empty cans on the floor, giggling like maniacs. He just wrote ‘Peaches for Free’ on my forehead with a black, washable marker, and for some strange, drunken reason, we’re finding it to be the funniest thing.

“Mark,” Billie Joe giggles out. I stop giggling and focus my attention on him.

“Hmm?”

“You’re a lot hotter than the guy who lives on the other side of my apartment.” His words are jumbled and slurred, but I find them completely audible. I look at the cute, little, drunk mess sitting on my couch with me and smile.

“I know,” I giggle.

-

Dear Travis,

I got a new neighbor yesterday. His name is Billie Joe. He’s really nice, and very fun. He came over and introduced himself, which has never happened to me besides today, and we got to talking. He spent the night at my apartment, which is only because we both passed out on my couch.

You better be nice to that kid. He could let it slip to someone, then you could get arrested. Just a warning...because I’m a fucking bastard! Next time I say that...send my anthrax.

Ball-slapping good times,
Mark

P.S.
YOU GOT FUCKED BY A KID!!! YOU FUCKING BTICH LOSER! Okay...I’m done with that.

-

Dear Mark,

Did you tell your neighbor about your attractive friend Travis? I’m sure you did!

Yeah...like I didn’t think about that. Thanks man. I WILL send you Anthrax!!

Ball-slapping?

I’d ball-slap your boyfriend!

Love,
Travis

P.S.
STFU, BITCH! Haha...stfu...! Lmfao! Lol! Omg! Wtf?! Okay...then.

P.S.S.
I hope you choke on your new neighbors dick! J/k! They joy that is net speak...what would I do without it? I’d have to bug you by coming up with my OWN material, that’s what!

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 09:11:55 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: SIX
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

TRAVIS!!

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME GO OVER TO MARK’S APARTMENT JUST TO GET DISTRUBED AND POSSIBLY LIED TO BY A DRUNKEN MORON WHO GIVES ME BEER EVEN THOUGH I’M 18!!

-Tom

-

I read this from Tom and am instantly infuriated. I would write something mean back, but Chris is looking over my shoulder, and even though he’s a freshman and has probably seen, and said, those words, he thinks I can do no wrong, since I turned down Hillary Faye a week ago.

I feel Chris lay his head on my shoulder. It’s already been a week and I can seriously feel an attachment to this kid. I don’t know how I can ever leave him. He’s like a little brother, I’ve helped him with many things, even troubles he’s been having with his girlfriend. I don’t think he’s come to the realization that I’m gay, yet, but he seems to be okay with the fact that Daniel's gay, so maybe it won’t change anything.

I’m about to close my computer says that I’ve gotten a new message. I click on it and see it’s from Mark.

-

I feel like crying. I’m alone in Chris’ room and I just read the e-mail from Mark about fifty times. Chris isn’t here, he went out with his friends, I opted not to go. I hear the door open. It’s Sue.

“Travis,” she starts, “is something wrong? You’ve been actin’ pretty strange t’day.” I shake my head, of course lying. "I don’t believe you. I’m a mother, I have these instincts."

I give in. “My friend back in America is in love with my other friend in America, but my other friend in America totally freaked out when he found out, and now my friend wants to kill himself.”

“Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this problem,” she says, after a while. “Daniel actually scared away Chris’ old friend that way.”

We talk for what seems like hours. Sue is very understanding, much more understanding then my own mother. Then, all of a sudden, I get curious.

“Sue, what do you think Chris would think if I said I was gay?” I ask.

“Well,” she begins, “I don’t think his opinion would change. I mean, him Daniel, and Ben are the closet a group of friends could get, and Daniel’s gay, and they don’t mind. I was talking to Chris the other day, and he said that he really admires you. So Travis, are you gay?” I nod. “Then you should probably tell Chris. He hates not knowing things, really.”

Just as I’m about to say something (important, might I add), the door bursts open and Chris is standing there with puffy red eyes. He glares at his mom, walks over to his bed, collapses on it.

“I think this is a great time for you to talk to him,” Sue whispers in my ear before standing up and leaving. Oh, I’m so gonna get her back.

“Chris, you aight?” I ask him, walking over to him and sitting down next to him. He shakes his head, so I pull him up and bring him into a hug until he stops crying.

“So, whatsup?” I ask after getting him a tissue.

“Ch Chelsea d...dumped me.” He says between dry heaving.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I really am. I pull him into another hug into he calms down. I give him a small kiss on the side of the head.

-

After awhile of just holding and hugging him, I decide that I really need to tell him the truth.

“Chris, I need to tell you something,” I say, “it’s kind of important, so I need you to listen.” He sits up and looks me in the eyes. I know he’s listening. They must have those classes were they teach you how to actively listen or something.

“Cha,” he says, waiting for me to tell him what’s up.

“I’m gay,” I tell him. His eyes don’t change.

“I figured.” He says, simply.

“What?”

“What what?”

“How could you just ‘figure’?”

“Because of the way you look at Daniel, and how you turned down Hillary Faye. I’m not stupid, Travis. I’m a smart little boy. I made honor roll!” I chuckle lightly. “But it’s alright, I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi, asexual, or really a girl.” He pauses, “You’re not a girl, are you?”

“No...” I say quickly.

“Good, because that would be creepy.”

We sit in silence for a while. It’s not uncomfortable silence, though, which is strange since most silence isn’t all that great.

Then out of nowhere, I feel Chris getting closer to me. He’s gets closer, and closer, until I feel his lips against mine. Oh god...this is so wrong! What is he doing? Is he kissing me?

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 01:26:46 GMT

I don't know why I'm doing this...but

And that counts for everything besides icons and fics posted in this journal from now on.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 01:44:18 GMT

Title: Weird, Purple-Haired, Scottish Boy
Author: Kaden
Fandom: MCR
Pairing: Ray/OMC
Summary: I finally had a reason for waking up in the morning. I had my weird, purple-haired Scottish boy, and that’s all I could ever want in the world.
Dedication: Everyone who is in ray_toro...because they know that Ray owns!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this story, with an exception of Calen. It didn't happen. It's FICTION!!
Edit - I gave this fic the serious editing it needed...

I feel so lonely.

I’m sitting on a chair in the hotel room that I’m sharing with my friend, Gerard. He’s out with his boyfriend, his boyfriend’s band mates, our other band mates, and a few more of our friends. They left me at the hotel room, again, to watch movies, and tonight is The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The music to the Time Warp starts in the background of movie, and I feel like I need to do something productive. No, I’m not going to do the Time Warp, I think I’ll find something to eat.

I stand up and look through everywhere I know that has food, but there is absolutely nothing to eat. I should just go downstairs and get something, but I feel too lazy.

I here the door being unlocked. My curiosity gets the best of me, so I feel the urge to find out whom it is. Who would actually come back here instead of dancing, drinking, and hooking up with strangers?

“Ray? You still ‘ere?” I here an oh-so-familiar voice in that oh-so-familiar Scottish accent say.

“Yeah, Calen,” I reply.

“Good! I though I was gonna hafta be here by meself!” He smiled.

“What are you doin’ back here?” I ask.

“Gerard an’ Bert...my God...don’t they evar stop?” He giggled. I walk into the living room and see him digging into his bag. Oh, god, here we go.

He stands up with two puppets, one occupying each hand.

“Oh Bert,” he says in a high voice and making the Gerard puppet talk, “I love you soooooo much!” He giggles.

“Oh,” he continues in a little lower voice, this time making the Bert puppet talk, “I love you, too, Gee!” He makes the puppets start making out.

“That’s quite disturbing...” I say slowly.

“Yes, yes, but all in good fun!” He grins. God, he’s so perfectly weird...

“Whatchu watchin’?” he asks, looking at the TV screen. I could understand why he couldn’t tell, it was on a commercial.

“Uh,” I start, but then I’m cut off by the movie starting again.

“Oi, The Rocky Horror Picture Show!” He walks over to me, abandoning the puppets, and pulls me on the couch. I’m surprised that he is actually strong enough to pull me anywhere, because he’s very short and has almost no muscle.

“This movie,” he pauses for a second, “iss genius!” He puts a hand through his longish, purple hair, almost knocking his square, emo-like, navy glasses off his face.

During the very last scene before the credits, it’s gotten pretty late, and I’m just curious why the other guys haven’t come back yet. I don’t really care that they haven’t come back, though. Calen made some popcorn a few minutes ago, and he was throwing it at me, but stopped. Now, he’s lying down on top of me, and literally, I couldn’t get up even if I wanted to, and is laying his head on my chest. I don’t know why, but I really like this closeness. I mean, I’ve always had a weird attraction to Calen, but I usually don’t like to be the close to people.

The movie ends, and Calen looks up at me with his beautiful green eyes (Great, I’m starting to sound a bit like a girl who’s in love with a movie star...) and asks, “Ray, what would you say...if...Mikey said he was in love with you?”

“I would,” I think for a second, “say...'You do know you’re talking to Ray, right?’...or ‘bitch, please!’”

He giggles, “No, really.”

“I would...”

“What about I said it?” One would normally get worried if their friends said this, but everyone gets shit like this from him.

“What?”

“That I was in love with you?”

“I don’t know.” I’d piss myself...

He keeps staring at me, with those big eyes, and they’re burning me. I want to look away, but I’m too fixated on them.

There is a long silence until the credits of the movie end, and then I go to turn the TV off. I walk back over to the couch and sit next to him.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too,” I say back.

“No...you don’t get it...” he says, “I’m...so...fucking in love with you.” He looks down.

I stare at him for a long moment, shaking. I’ve, honestly, never been happier to hear anything in my entire life. I walk over and sit down next to him, still shaking, and move my hand under his chin. He looks up, and I do what I’ve been waiting to do for the longest time; I softly press my lips to his. I feel a spark go up my spine as he kisses me back. I move my hands to his hair, and play with the purple strands, before pulling back for air. He rests his forehead against mine and smiles. He has such a beautiful smile...

“Can I be yours?” he asks, his voice shaking a little.

“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” I reply.

“I’m sleepy...” Calen says at about 2:57 in the morning.

“Me too,” I reply. I lay down on the couch and he lays down with me. I wrapped my arms around his little body, and he snuggles his nose into my right shoulder.

An hour has past, and I’ve been staring at the door, hoping Gerard and Bert decided to go to Bert’s room instead of here. Of course, being me, a minute after I think that, the door opens slowly, and Gerard walks in holding Bert’s hand. I keep my eyes open, just a little, and see Bert staring at me. He stops for a second, raises his eyebrows, and continues following Gerard to his bed.

After a few minutes, I find myself falling asleep. Before I can finally say I’m asleep, I think about something for a second. I finally had a reason for waking up in the morning. I had my weird, purple-haired Scottish boy, and that’s all I could ever want in the world.

-

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 03:55:48 GMT

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 01:23:39 GMT

Title: Raining on Prom Night
Author: Kaden!
Fandom: Goldfinger
Pairing: John/Kelly
Summary: Kelly didn’t care anymore, because for once in his life, he didn’t feel lonely anymore.
Dedication: Again, to all the people who reviewed my fics...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this story. It didn't happen. It's FICTION!!

Kelly sat on a chair away from the dance floor. This was supposed to be the one night of his life that he would remember, but it had been ruined. He was at his senior prom, and his date had already ditched him. He looked around and saw his friends dancing with their dates, except for one. Where is John, anyway? He thought, looking around once more. After a few minutes of watching people dancing and making out with their dates, a hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts.

“John,” he said, turning around. He knew it must be his friend, because his figures were so calloused the he could feel them through his jacket and shirt.

“My date ditched me,” John said.

“For who?”

“Your date.” You both went silent for a while. A slow song started playing, and Kelly felt even lonelier then he did seconds before. To be honest, he had never felt this lonely in his life.

“Dance with me!” John said, a small grin on his face.

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“Of course I’m serious!” John replied, pulling Kelly onto the dance floor, “now, put your hands on my hips and dance with me!” Kelly gave up and did as John told him.

Kelly was startled at how comfortable he was dancing with his male friend. He noticed John getting closer to him, and he could feel John’s breath against his face. When the song ended, he noticed just how close he was to John, and the next thing he knew, his lips were meeting with his friend’s, and everyone was staring. Kelly didn’t care anymore, because for once in his life, he didn’t feel lonely anymore.

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 20:13:02 GMT

Sorry this has taken so long...I hope people still want to read this...

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden...or Gir...whatever people are calling me these days.
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: umm...FIVE
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

Dear Travis,

I have no fuckin’ clue what these dreams mean...but if you want, I can ask my aunt, she’s a shrink.

You got a boner? During class? That’s priceless...but totally not funny! God, no wonder you wanna kill yourself.

I haven’t told Tom anything, yet. I don’t know what he’d say! I mean, what if someone finds out and tells him? Maybe I should ask someone smart for their opinion...

Well, I hope your dinner was good, talk to you later, see you when you get home.

Spaghetti (that’s what I had for dinner),
Mark

-

I put the letter I just wrote to Travis in an envelope and seal it. As I go to put the envelope next to my coat so I’ll actually remember to mail it, I hear something come from my computer. I walk over to see that Tom has logged on to the alien instant messenger that we both happen to have.

OhmiGod it’s Him: MARKY!

I go over to answer it.

Hi my name is fuckwad: Hey, Tom.

OhmiGod it’s Him: I’m bored.

Hi my name is fuckwad: Cool!

OhmiGod it’s Him: Kewl-o-rooney!

Hi my name is fuckwad: Du yu no houw laym an stoopyd u r?

OhmiGod it’s Him: Du yu no houw HOURNY eye m?

Hi my name is fuckwad: No, and I’m not sure I would like to know.

OhmiGod it’s Him: OH!! VIRTUALLY FUCK ME, MARKY!! OH GOD! YES!

Hi my name is fuckwad: Okay...I’ll remember to put that on my ‘to-do’ list.

OhmiGod it’s Him: Remember to me ‘Tom’ on there, too!

Hi my name is fuckwad: Will do

OhmiGod it’s Him: Ok! I gotta go now! BYE BYE!!

Hi my name is fuckwad: Okay! Bye!

-

I logged off at probably the same time as Tom. I walk over to the couch in my apartment and sit down, watching whatever happens to be on TV, which is, unfortunately ‘TV Land’ playing ‘The Brady Bunch.’

About ten minutes later, I here a knock at the door. I walk over to the door and look through the little peeky-hole and see Tom. I open the door and let him in without hesitation.

“Hey Tom! What are you doing here?” I ask, as if this is the first time I’ve seen him in ten years or something.

“I got an e-mail from Travis. He told me you needed to talk to me, face to face.” I look down at my feet. “Mark, is there something wrong?” I shake my head.

“Come sit down.” I pull him towards the couch and he plops down on it. I go to get us each a beer, even though he’s only eighteen.

-

An hour or two later, we’re both drunk off our asses and giggle at something for no reason.

“Tom, I *hick* need to *hick* tell you *hick* something *hick* important,” I slur between hick-ups. Tom looks at me, and I know he’s listening intently. “I *hick* love *hick* you.” He stares at me like I’m growing breasts or something else just as disturbing. “I *hick* love you *hick* more then justa *hick* fwiend.”

“Dude, Mark,” He says, seeming to be sobering up pretty fast, “that’s not cool, man.” He gets up and starts to walk towards the door.

“Tom, please don’t leave...*hick*” But it’s too late, he’s already out the door and I have a strange feeling he’s never coming back.

-

Travis-

Well, I told Tom. I screwed up, man. He’s never going to come back, and I know it. I can’t wait until you get back, or I die, because now I’m lonely. There will never be anyone else out there for me.

Sp...ah, forget it,
Mark

-

I send the e-mail to Travis and go to bed.

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 20:05:01 GMT

Title: Love Shouldn't be Painful
Author: Kaden!
Fandom: GC/Goldfinger
Pairing: Joel/Brian a very, very small hint of Joel/John
Summary: It didn’t used to be like that. He used to treat me like I was made of porcelain.
Dedication: Again, to all the people who reviewed my fics...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this story. It didn't happen. It's FICTION!!

A/N: Again, sort of old...but it's okay.

I’m heading towards my house after a long day. I guess I shouldn’t really call it my house; after all, I share it with someone. Someone that is the smartest, funniest, prettiest, most perfect person anyone could ever meet. He is flawless. A flawless, Democratic, gorgeous, everything a person could ever want, vegan boy! God I love him!

I reach my apartment door, and grab my key out of my pocket. I touch the bruise on my face that appeared last night after an incident that happened between him and me. That happens a lot nowadays. It didn’t used to be like that. He used to treat me like I was made of porcelain. He used to always say he loved me. Now, he’s just changed. I don’t know if it’s because of drugs and alcohol that Benji and Tony have gotten him into.

I unlock and open the door to my house and walk through the entryway into the living room were he’s sitting on our couch watching TV. He looks like he hasn’t bathed in weeks.

“Joel, is that you?” He asks.

“Yeah,” I reply. Who else would it be?

“Get me a beer!”

I go into the kitchen and open the fridge. There’s only one beer left, and nothing else. I go back out into the living and hand it to him. I sit on the floor next to his legs and rest my head on his leg. He doesn’t seem to notice. I watch him finish his beer.

“Get me another beer,” He said.

“We don’t have anymore,” I said, standing up. He stood up, too, and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt.

“Then get more.”

I felt like shaking my head and standing up to him for once. I felt like telling him to get his own beer, or his own food, or his own life, but I just nodded and proceeded in doing what he told me to do.

“And get other shit, too. The other guys don’t need to know that my stupid bitch can’t even go get groceries.”

“Yes,” I said. As I went out the door to my car I felt tears welling in my eyes. Why did he have to be this way? He used to say he loved me all the time, and now I’m doubtful that he does. What he doesn’t know is that I do love him; actually I’m pretty sure he knows, and takes advantage.

I get in my car and arrive at the grocery store in less then five minutes. I grab a cart and start going down the aisles, getting things we need. I stop at the very end of the aisle, where the beer is. What if I didn’t get him any beer? What if I said I forgot or something? Would he get pissed? I’m sure he’d get more pissed then he would if I egged his truck. I get a few twelve packs of beer and set them in cart. I head towards the check out stand and pull the hood of my hoodie up so that the girl ringing me up won’t see the bruises. Unfortunately, she does. She looks at my face in pity. I try to make up an accused on why it’s there, but I doubt she cares. No one cares about me, so I don’t understand why she would.

When I get home and finish putting groceries away, I hear the voice that gives my chills.

“Joel,” I hear from the living room, “get me a beer.”

“It’s kinda cold,” I reply.

“I don’t care.”

I grab him a beer and bring it out to him. I sit back down and the floor, because he doesn’t like me sitting on the couch next to him anymore, and rest my head on his knee again. The doorbell rings, and I start wondering, who might be desperate enough to want to visit us?

“Get the door.”

I follow his commands and walk to get the door. Before I can reach it, the door swings open and there you stand. You walk in, through our entryway, and into our living room. I sit down on the floor again.

“Why didn’t you get the door?” he asks me.

You just stare at him, “I can open the door myself, Brian.”

Brian stands up and pulls me up by my shirt. The next thing I see is a fist coming towards my face. You tell Brian to stop, but the fist comes again, and again, until I’m on the floor, and the fist in my face becomes a foot in my stomach, until you finally stop it by punching Brian.

“Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you,” Brian says to you.

“What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you? You think it’s too strenuous to go get a beer, or answer the door, but you gladly beat up your boyfriend with out even thinking about it?”

You hold out your hand for me to take and I gladly accept it. You help me get off the ground, though it is painful, and you escort me out the door.

You said that you always loved me, even after you got married. You said you left your wife for me one night when Brian was gone and you were drunk. I didn’t believe you then, but now that you tell me again, sober, I believe you. I realize something just then; I’d rather be with you everyday of my life then with Brian, even if we’re just friends. Welcome to my life, John William Feldmann.

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 02:56:17 GMT

Title: Your Eyes
Author: Kaden!
Fandom: GC/Goldfinger
Pairing: Benji/John (I'm sorry, I have a weird obsession with slashing John Feldmann..)
Summary: Do you even know what your eyes look like around Benji?
Dedication: hmmm...people who review my fics...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this story. It didn't happen. It's FICTION!!

Do you even know what your eyes look like around Benji? Your eyes have more love then anyone has ever seen in your eyes. The day Benji noticed that love in your eyes, could have been the greatest day of your life so far.

“Hey,” Benji had said to you. You just stared at him, totally oblivious that he was actually saying something. You were just looking at him, staring, watching his lips move as he spoke.

“Dude, are you alright?” he had asked you.

“Yeah,” you replied when you zoned back into the real world. Your band mates just stared at you. You had just gotten done signing random things for people, and now you just wanted a break. You wanted a break from everything. A break from touring, singing, signing, and especially having to suffer through days of being around Benji.

You didn’t hate Benji or anything, you just couldn’t stand your heart breaking anymore. You had been touring with Good Charlotte for awhile, and you and your wife were going through really tough times. You even got rid of your cell phone so you wouldn’t have to talk to her anymore.

As you went out to your tour bus, you heard footsteps behind you. You were sure that it was just a fan, and one of your band mates or something. You continued walking until you reached your bus, opening the door and heading towards your bunk. The footsteps could still be heard. You turned around to see it was Benji, standing there, looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes.

“Benji, what are you doing here?” You asked him. Benji just shrugged. Benji walked closer to you, approaching you somewhat cautiously. Your first reaction would have been to back away, but you just stood there as Benji’s lips found their way to yours. His lips were soft. He pulled away quickly, terror in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. You moved your lips back onto his for another soft kiss. After a second, he started kissing you back. The younger man’s warm hands slowly went up and down your back. Before you knew it, his tongue had somehow gained entrance to your mouth. It was the best thing you have ever felt in your life.

A few weeks after you and your wife’s divorce came threw, you and Benji agreed to tell the guys from your bands. None of them seemed surprised, they said they could tell by the way you looked at each other.

Later that same day, Joel approached and said, “You better not break his heart, John, or I, personally, will kick your ass.” Then walked away without saying another word. To this day, you take what Joel said to heart, and would never do anything to Benji.

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 04:30:01 GMT

Title: Untitled
Author: Kaden...me!
Fandom: The Used/???
Pairing: Bert/???
Summary: It's about Bert...and his relationship with someone...
Dedication: To my sister, because she forced me to write this...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this story. It didn't happen. It's FICTION!!

You’re in a small club, which you have really forgotten the name of, sipping a beer you hold in one hand and smoking a cigarette you hold in the other. You’ve never really noticed anything about anyone in clubs, except for one person, where you met in the exact spot you are tonight, and almost every other night.

That night, they were, with no doubt, the most gorgeous person in the whole club, and possibly the state. Their black hair went down to their shoulders with pink framing their delicate, feminine features, their tight, red dress just short enough so you could see the bottom of their garter, and their calf-high, black, leather boots that had chains attached in all the right places.

All the other guys in the bar were definitely eyeing them, but you were the only one brave enough to stare them straight in the eye. This intrigued them, very much, and the next thing you knew, they were standing next to you.

“Hey,” they said. There voice was sort of high, but it was obvious that they were not a woman. You don’t remember the last time you picked up a ‘normal’ guy out of a bar.

“Hey,” was all you can say back.

“I’m Gem,” he said, putting his hand out. You took his hand in your own and gave him a kiss on each one of his knuckles, making him giggle. “And, you are?”

“Bert,” you replied, blushing because of your name, which you found semi-embarrassing and still wonder to this day why your parents named you something so awful. You guessed that he didn’t notice, probably since it was so dark.

You remember talking with him for at least an hour, buying him any drink he desired.

You don’t remember everything that happened that night, but you remember taking him home with you. You remember kissing, sucking, biting, and licking his pale neck while hearing soft moans come from his perfect lips.

When you woke up the next morning, you saw him sleeping next to you practically tangled in your limbs, because, you have this strange idea that there is a slight possibility that you grow extra limbs after sex. You’re a hairy, cuddly, sex octopus with a soft side for transvestites, what can you say? That’s right, nothing.

You watched him slowly open his beautiful brown eyes. When his eyes met with yours, he gave you a tiny, groggy smile. For a moment, you imagined what it might be like waking up with him next to you, suffocating in your limbs, every morning.

You thought things would just go back to normal after that. You thought he didn’t want to be with you like you wanted to be with him. To your surprise, you were wrong. That’s right, Mr. McCracken, you were incorrect, I’m sorry. In fact, if you do remember correctly, he asked you out. Of course, you couldn’t decline if your life depended on it.

You remember many moments of your time with him. You remember the time he told you his real name, the name you can never get out of your head if you tried. You also remember the first time your band mates had come to realize that he was not a woman, and that you had fallen hard for him.

The fourth year into your relationship, he got very sick, and the doctors had no idea what was wrong. Of course, you were there by his side everyday, since you had moved in together three years ago. Anything he needed, you got him. You would have gotten him anything he wanted or needed at that time, even if it was across the country.

You remember the moment you walked into your room (except it technically hadn’t been your room since he became ill. You slept on the couch in the living room). He wasn’t breathing or moving.

He died on a Saturday; you try not to remember the date. He died of Whooping Cough, and you felt like beating the doctors over the head with a baseball bat for not detecting it. It was such a preventable disease, you didn’t even catch it and you were with him almost all the time. There’s a goddamn vaccine for the fucking disease!

You come to this club almost every night, almost as if you think he’ll come back to you. Now, you’ve let yourself pretty much go. You don’t remember the last time you cut your hair or shaved. Everyone now knows you as ‘the raging alcoholic’ who drinks himself unconscious every night. It’s all because of your lost soul mate. Your Gem.

Your Gerard.

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 05:59:12 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden...or Gir...whatever people are calling me these days.
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: Quatro
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

Dear Mark,

I wish someone would hand me a fucking gun. I feel like killing something, preferably myself.

Before school I found out Daniel was gay. I really like him, though he’s a little young. Today during second period, I kind of dosed off, since it was algebra, and you know how I am when it comes to math, and I had a strange dream, which involved sexual content between me and a certain blonde boy that I might know. When I woke up, thank god nobody noticed I was asleep, I had a boner and my hand was down my pants.

I’m really scared, Mark. This is a really sick crush that I have. I really need some help with this stuff.

Enough about what’s happening her, tell me what’s going on in America. Did you finally tell Tom about your crush? If you didn’t, that’s okay, but he’s going to find out eventually.

Well, I gotta go. It’s dinner time, and it smells pretty damn good.

Love,
Travis

p.s. If you don’t tell Tom, I will!

-

I close my notebook and go downstairs, hoping dinner tastes as god as it smells. When I reach the dinner table, the table is set for four extra people. I look in the living room and spot the four extra people; Ben, Daniel, ‘Chelsea’, and a blonde girl I’ve never seen before. Okay, I take that back, she might have been at the beach with ‘Chelsea’.

“Travis, this is Hillary Faye,” Daniel starts, “Hillary Faye, this is Travis. Travis is a foreign exchange student in his senior year from Fontana, California in America. Hillary Faye is a stupid friend of Chelsea’s in her junior year who doesn’t like the word ‘nipples’.” This new ‘Hillary Faye’ person slaps Daniel upside the head.

“You’re from America?” She asks, though she already knows the answer.

“Yeah,” I confirm.

“American’s are hott.” I’m gonna puke.

“Yeah,” I reply, in an obviously scared and disturbed tone. She doesn’t get the point. She stands up and I finally get a good look at her. She is probably taller than me and has huge breasts which are hideously displayed in a small belly shirt, which also displays a belly button piercing. Threw her shirt, I can make out nipple piercings. She has a semi-attractive face, which is probably because she put so much makeup on. Why is this girl here? What are they trying to do?

-

“You hate her, don’t you?” Chris asks me while I’m trying to sleep.

“Who?” I say groggily.

“Hillary Faye.”

“Oh...I never said that.”

“But you implied it.” I heard him move a little, “It’s alright, I hate her, too. Chelsea just told me that she thought you were hot and wanted to meet you, so I invited her over.”

“She looks like a slut.”

“She is a slut.”

I think he’s talking, but I soon just fall asleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and I’ll get to send my letters to Mark.

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 21:36:52 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden...or Gir...whatever people are calling me these days.
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: Tres
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

I keep tossing and turning on this somewhat uncomfortable futon, trying to get to sleep after the third time I’ve woken tonight. I keep having dreams about Daniel, and none of them are good. I can’t stop thinking that my dreams might be real! I finally get up and start searching around for a flashlight. I pick my pink and orange one off of the table to the futon, and turn it on. I search around for my bag, find it, and grab my ‘journal’ out of it. It’s not really a journal, but a book that I use to write letters to my friends. Mark said that I should write a letter to him once a week, so, since I have nothing better to do, why not write one now?

Dear Mark,

I had another dream about the boy with the blonde hair. Well, actually, a few. I finally found out who it is that is in my dreams. He’s an Australian boy named Daniel. Well, I’m going to tell you about one of my dreams whether you like it or not...I want you to keep tallies on how many times I say something like that, so when I see you next, you can hit me that many times.

So, about this dream, Daniel was just standing, I’m not sure where, and this time it was a tornado behind him. I pulled him out of the way before he could get hurt by the tornado, but then he started yelling at me and how I threw him out of his concentration or something, and then he started kissing me.

What do you think that means?

Love,
Travis

P.S.
Sorry this is so short!

I put my notebook away and crawl back under the covers. Before I know it, I’m drifting into a deep sleep and having another dream about Daniel.

-

“Wake up, Travis,” I hear, feeling someone shaking me violently. I open my eyes and see Chris standing over me. “If you don’t get up, we’re gonna be late for school and it will be ALL you fault!” He hobbles out of the room on his twisted ankle so I can change.

-

“Are you sure you don’t want any breakfast?” Chris asks me as he eats some kind of waffle-like food. I nod. “Alright then.”

He finishes his breakfast and we head out the door for school. I, unfortunately, am the one who had to help him. Sue said we could take her car and that she could get a ride to work from one of her colleagues, so I help him into the car, then get in myself.

-

“I thought you told me that you were alright!” The girl ‘Chelsea’ huffs at Chris when we arrive at the school and somehow get passed all the kids and up to the office.

“Well,” Chris starts, then pauses before saying, “I am...?”

“Bull shit! I can’t believe you lied to me!” she stormed away, not even looking back.

“Why do girls have to be so weird?” Chris asks anyone who will give an answer.

“That’s why I go for guys,” I hear someone say behind me, “but at least she likes you, I mean, she IS your girlfriend.” I then realize that it is in fact Daniel, the boy the I am almost completely obsessed with even though I don’t know him, and even if I did try anything, it would be completely illegal.

Well...I must do what I originally came here for...school.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 20:58:08 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden...or Gir...whatever people are calling me these days.
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: Duece
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

A/N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed!! PREVIOUS CHAPTER IN JOURNAL!

I stand here for, God knows how long, just staring at him. I have already blocked Chris and Sue out, which I’m sure I’ll regret later, and just keep staring at him. I stare at his perfect legs, then his perfect arms, perfect chest, perfect face, and when I look into his eyes, I find them staring back at me.

“Travis, are you listening?” I snap out of my thoughts. I look away and see Chris staring at me.

“Uh, yeah.” I say. Chris stares at me as if I were growing another head.

“Why are you staring at my friend?” Chris asks me, obviously annoyed by at. I can feel myself blushing. I just shrug.

“If you’re going to stare at me, you should at least know my name,” other boy says

“You’re right,” I say, somewhat sarcastically, “now, what did you say it was?”

“I didn’t,” he replied.

“I’m gonna leave you boys alone, then,” Sue says, leaving the room. Dammit, why wasn’t I smart like her.

“Then why don’t you tell him,” Chris suggests.

“Daniel,” he said, “now, who the fuck are you?” Polite young man, great manners, and lots of charm, that’s what you’re thinking, right?

“Travis,” I reply.

“Well, nice to meet you, I guess.” He holds out his hand and I shake it.

“We’re gonna go surfing,” Chris announces, “Wanna come?”

“Sure,” I reply.

----

“You’ve never surfed before?” Daniel asks. I shake my head. “Never?” I shake my head again.

“How ‘bout this,” I start, “you two do your surfing thing, and I’ll do my not surfing thing, and watch you do your surfing thing.” They both give me a confused nod. “Alright, then.”

“Daniel, Chris,” I hear someone a great distance behind me shout, “Daniel, Chris, Daniel, Chris, Daniel, Chris!!” He finally approached us, panting. “Hey! It’s a person!” The boy said, looking at me.

“Yes Ben,” Chris said, “there are a lot of people hear.”

“But... I was talking about that specific person, alright!”

“That person?” Chris points to me.

“Yeah!”

“That’s Travis, from America.”

“Oh. Hi Travis from America! Wow I sound stupid...” Daniel and Chris both nod in agreement.

“Does he know how to surf?” Ben asks. Daniel and Chris both shake their heads. “Is he deaf or mute or something?” Daniel and Chris both shake their heads.

I took some time to actually look at the kid, and noticed that he too had a surfboard and no shoes. What kind of dumbass kid would run across a hot beach in no shoes with a surfboard?

----

“You sure you’re alright, dude?” Daniel asks Chris we’re up with the lifeguard, who is helping him with a twisted ankle, which he somehow got when he fell off his board funny or something.

“Yeah,” Chris replies.

“How the hell did you manage to do that?” Ben asks. Chris just shrugs. “We should probably get you home.”

“Yeah.”

We I help get him up and walk out of the lifeguard house.

“Chris,” I hear a girl say somewhere, “what happened?” I finally figure out where the voice is coming from and turn towards it. There stands a short, skinny, girl with brown hair wearing a red bikini. She has almost perfect skin, really isn’t very pretty, and obviously flat chested.

“I’m fine, Chelsea,” Chris replies, giving her a fake smile.

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Alright, but I’m checking up on you later.” She walks off with another girl. They look back at us, then start giggling.

We get off the beach and into the parking lot after a long walk in our bare feet. I somehow get the younger teens all into Chris’ mom’s car without bickering. I feel like I’m their babysitter or something. The sun starts going down and it’s getting darker. Hopefully, better things will happen when we get back to Chris’ house.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 20:34:10 GMT

Title: Angel
Author: Kaden...or Gir...whatever people are calling me these days.
Fandom: Blink 182/Silverchair
Pairing: Travis/Not sure yet (either Daniel or Chris)
Chapter: Uno
Rating: R for language and sexual content in later chapters.
Summary: Travis is a smart kid. He does the Foreign Exchange Program for the second year, and this year, he's going to Australia. Completely AU.
Dedication: To just Andrea, for now, even though she doesn't like slash.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Not real. I only own a few characters which I stole their names from different things.

Walking down the hallways of my boring as hell school in Fontana, California, I sigh and constantly remind myself how stupid everyone here is. I actually don’t really have to remind myself, I can just look around at all the shit-headed jocks beating up on the nerds and saying that they’re ‘tough’ and be reminded of the stupidly that surrounds me. At least I won’t have to be here any longer.

I’ve signed up for the Foreign Exchange Program last year, and my mom signed me up this year, too. Last year I went to Montreal, Canada because my French teacher said I was ‘practically fluent’. That’s when I met my now pen pal Pierre. I taught him English, he taught me more French. This year, I’m going to Australia. At least they speak English there, mostly, and they do have nice accents. Hey, maybe I’ll find someone there that will go out with me! I’ll be there for four months,(scary) so maybe someone will like me there. Unlike Pierre, we’re just friends. We did fool around a little while I was in Canada, but we agreed to be just friends.

I hear the bell ring and am broke out of my thoughts. I guess I’m going to be late, again! I go to my locker and grab the stuff I need for calculus class and start down the hall again.

-

That afternoon at my house, was sitting at my computer doing boring shit when I got an IM from my

Hi my name is fuckwad: Travis?
Drum Humper: Mark?
Hi my name is fuckwad: ur still in Cali?
Drum Humper: Yuppers! Not leavin’ til this weekend
Hi my name is fuckwad: Oh
Hi my name is fuckwad: Tom wants you to cyber with him

I’m sure Tom punched Mark, either if they’re talking over IM or in person, I’m sure Mark is getting the shit beat out of him.

Drum Humper: why don’t u just fuck him?
Hi my name is fuckwad: I can’t get in the mood?
Drum Humper: well, get in the mood! I have to pack! Bye!
Hi my name is fuckwad: bye!

I log off of IM and actually pack. I leave for the airport at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow morning. I’m not really all that excited as much as I am scared just thinking about going to another continent.

-

“Bye, Travis! Take good care of yourself and buy us something in Australia,” my mom yells at me while I board the plane. I walk faster. It’s 5:13 a.m. and I’m fucking tired! I hope I can’t sleep on the plane. I hope I don’t have to sit next to a stinky person. What if the plane crashes? I sit in my seat and eventually fall asleep.

I dream about Australia, I guess. There is this boy, about 14, and he has long, blonde hair and perfect skin. He looks like an angel. He is playing a guitar, a black and dark green guitar, and he looks so beautiful. In the background, there is a fire, and it’s getting closer and closer to him. Before the fire hits him, I pull him out of the way, and he looks up at me, confused. Then he asks why I did that, and I reply, “I didn’t want the fire to burn something so pretty.” I look back up at the fire and it’s gone. He looks back up at me and kisses me, and there is a bright light.

My eyes flutter open. Apparently, there was a bright light; it was just coming from the plane. That was the third time this week that I’ve had a dream with the same guy in it.

“The plane will be landing in approximately 15 minutes,” the flight attendant said. Had I really been asleep that long? “It is 10:36 p.m. in Australia at the moment.” Holy shit! I set my watch to the aforementioned time, and waited for the plane to land.

-

The people in charge of the Foreign Exchange Program at Fontana High gave me a picture of the person that was going to pick me up. Apparently, that person also knew what I looked like, too, because they came over to me while I was looking for them. The person was a tall woman, much taller then I thought she’d be, with long, straight, light brown hair.

“Hi,” she said in a think Australian accent, “you’re Travis, right? Travis Barker.” I nodded. “I’m Sue. You’re gonna stay with my family for the next four months.” She gives a smile, and I give her one back.

-

“So, this is the room you’ll be sleepin’ in,” she said when we got to her house, “sorry ‘bout the mess. You’ll have to share this room with my son, Chris.” I look around and only saw one bed, and a futon. The bed looks occupied already, which means, well, you should know what it means.

“Mum!” I hear a strong Australia accent come from outside the room, “Mum... hey! Is that the American kid?” We both nod. “Oh. I’m Chris...” he puts out his hand and I shake it. Another kid comes into the room behind him that I had yet to notice. He has long blonde hair, about 14, perfect skin, is wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt and black shorts, he looks like an angel, just like the boy in my dreams.